The Worst News EVER


This is the worst news that has ever been told. If you are holding a cup of coffee, I suggest you swallow it down now. If you are using power-drill or holding a newborn child, you may want to put it aside for now. This will probably disturb you.

You or your loved ones, may possibly be…. A LIBERAL.

I know! It is hard to believe, but after taking this shocking test on I have discovered that yours truly, is in fact, a liberal. It doesn’t matter how many assault rifles I want to own or how I want to use them on illegal immigrants. According to the polls, I am one bad fetus-aborting-pollution-hating-gay-marriage-supporting mother of a liberal. Even on this poll, again, I am overwhelmingly liberal.

If you are not a liberal, then what about your spouse? Your children? Are they?

My good friend Pat

Who am I really kidding, though? Everyone knows who they affiliate with. Most of my friends have piercings and I enjoy a fresh slice of sushi now and again. I’m not afraid of these things, though. No, because in my own nihilism, I am not a liberal – and you don’t have to be one of those sissies either.

The main reason I post this, is because beneath a mess of mixed identities and ego, I’m just a regular person. And like a regular person, I got on the bus, read the news, and learned that according to Mississippi lawmakers, life begins at conception. Yes. When mommy and daddy bumped uglies. That’s your effective date of life. To hell with Birth Days, in Mississippi, you celebrate Conception Days. So in Mississippi, I may actually be a year older than I am. Cool! But not really.

Initiative 26, which is more than likely going to pass, will ban abortion entirely, even in cases involving rape, incest, and health. It will also ban some forms of birth control (Why?).

The flaming liberal emerges.

I understand that abortion is bad, and those who take advantage of them are irresponsible. One might say they are complete idiots. But the fetus really doesn’t have much in the way of a cerebral cortex at this point in it’s “life” and therefore doesn’t necessarily worry about these things – or anything for that matter. I dare say, such a fetus wouldn’t have much more value than any other bodily tissue, say a spleen.

Maybe that’s a bold statement, but so is saying a child should be given up for adoption at a young age, then be aborted as an uncognitive fetus. And I hate to bring out the extremes, but isn’t it a little ridiculous to deny a 13 year old girl who is a rape and/or incest victim the option of abortion? That almost is actually The Worst News Ever.

Let’s put aside the moral and religious ideas. No one said you had to believe in God to be an American. In fact, I’m pretty sure that is far from being a pre-requisite.

No abortions in Mississippi? Get your coat hangers ready. Your either about to have a lot of miserable children or unhealthy women. Fine. I don’t plan on having unprotected sex in that state anyway. Hopefully they don’t ban rubbers their. Oh, what? Florida, Michigan, Montana, Wisconsin, and Ohio are hoping to push for similar proposition? I guess that makes six states that I will never visit.

 I find it strange that after all these years of striving for justice, equality, and freedom, issues such as these are so blindly sought after. For instance, Idiot Lawyer quoted in the New York Times: “… it’s an opportunity for people to say that we’re made in the image of God.” That supports nothing, but your religion which you are forcing upon others. The idea that a fetus is a person with human rights is more convincing. With that, can a fetus have citizenship? Could the fetus sign some documents for the INS?

All this hair-splitting is really irritating.

 As sarcastic as I may sound, it is a serious issue that needs resolve. States can do what they wish with the clinics, but life must be determined at a federal level

… Rest assured conservative viewers, I do support smoking and I still love the Second amendment.

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  1. #1 by liveunfolded on November 2, 2011 - 5:45 am

    How about no one legislates about abortion…state or federal…and instead let doctors do what they do and let the affected parties decide for themselves what is right for their bodies. Ultimately, the woman getting the abortion needs to live with the decision and not the lawmakers.

  2. #2 by squelsch on November 3, 2011 - 2:40 am

    Thats what I don’t understand about these situations. Lawmakers are not aborting the child. Should they choose to become pregnant, they should have the choice whether or not it is a good time for them to become a parent.

  3. #3 by pls101 on November 4, 2011 - 5:53 pm

    Decided to check out your blog. Thanks for writing!

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