Hipsters, Jokers, and Protesters

In my mind, I see the last protester on Wall Street, tied to a torture rack, screaming this:


“MONEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!” and then some government official with a business suit and executioners mask swings an ax across their neck, decapitating them. Maybe I have been watching too much Brave Heart. I don’t know, but once this protest fails (as all of them do), there will certainly be another. And that poor decapitated protesters sword -er, picket, will be thrown across the next battle field into the street by a Scotsman in war paint and another great battle will rage. One involving more rebellious teenagers, more pooping on cop cars, and more sleeping on dirty mattresses in the street. It will be GLORIOUS!

However, I do have a spot in my heart for any vocal citizen in the street with a picket (that includes those dreaded Tea Partiers as well). But every time I see a video or a photo of these Wall Street Protesters, I sort of just shake my head and sigh. When I was younger, and before I joined the military, I went to some of the anti-war demonstrations in Seattle (an oxymoron, I know), and what I saw there was the same thing: Old smoked-out college professors, young kids trying to rebel against the “system,” anarchists (complete with ski-masks!) and various other sorts. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs… I, of anyone, should know this. But this “movement” as some call it, has no backbone, and looks absolutely ridiculous. While I’m sure some of these people are good, intelligent, anxious people who feel they have been dealt an injustice, most of them look like people living in the shadow of the 1960s.

Protesting for Brains

But hey! That’s okay with me. In fact, I think it’s for the best. There’s nothing more ferocious, or more overpowering than a mass of human bodies. Seriously. Have you seen The Walking Dead? That’s what we’re dealing with in this situation: F***** zombies. Because there is no “President” (or tribal leader – a shaman perhaps) the protesters are free to do or say whatever they want without too much negative backlash from the media. This also means they can be blamed for anything really… But I don’t think they care; they’re grass roots pirates. Yarghhh, and they’ll stop at nothin to get their booty! That being…. a bunch of things… their demands are a little hazy, and well, unrealistic.

If you’ve read any of my other posts, you either think I’m a total flop on these subjects, or I’m a complete idiot. That said, I believe these protesters have a good thing going for them and so long as they remain a slightly neurotic, spontaneous mass of freaks and Union workers. ALSO! I believe they are a bunch of uber-liberal sheep with nothing better to do but herd each other in circles. ALSO ALSO! Sometimes, you must follow before you can lead…. your quote for the day. Write that down.

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  1. #1 by thespiderfarmmanager on November 3, 2011 - 2:24 am

    I think you are on to something here. I also looked at the Wall street protestors with a bit of disappointment, not at the fact they were screaming in protest, but because I knew nothing was going to change and the vampires that live/work in Wall Street just saw it as funny. I live in a country (South Africa) where protests are common especially before 1994 when Apartheid was still rife and black South Africans like myself toyitoyi-ed which is basically protesting by dancing and singing struggle songs. If you know anything about our history these protests did work to some degree but with a lot of blood shed as white Afrikaans speakign South Africans had no problem with gunning down singing savages. Anways, nowadays the same toyitoying happens when there are industrial strikes which are as common as racism in this country. When I see these potests televised I laugh to myself because the country has changed enough for some of us to go out there and become what we want but some people still expect handouts, at least thats how the capitalists see it. Thanks for a great piece.

    • #2 by squelsch on November 3, 2011 - 2:49 am

      Thanks for the comment. Protests in America do have some cultural signifigance too. I think it’s more so since the 60s and 70s when civil (and uncivil) disobedience was popular amongst a lot of young people around the world.
      It is sad, though, that the people responsible for making change into law see such protests as childish or immature. Not that it’s surprising with all the illegal drugs being dealt at the rallies.
      I went to one in Seattle just to see what it was like, and although their message was good, and the people were kind and community based, it will never be taken seriously with them sitting on their asses in the town center. God forbid they take violent action, the world would ignite.

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